Parva fabula, pars octava

Latina:
Probabiliter vos me cogitatis scelestum dirumque scriptorem esse, nunc quia scribo me recantare omnia quae scripsi vulgavique, et relinquere dubitationem indiciaque actorum futurorum, et vos duxisse ut erraretis in nullum in loco. Dirum scriptum, exclamatis vos, et cur fecis quod fecis; sed quaeso ut me audireatis et scite bene me sub impulso Mali fuisse, et non optionem habuisse ut scripsissem quod voluerat; non enim est fictio sed verum et historicum. Ho recanto fabulam quam creavi et promitto me soli Verbo Dei. Bona nunc fide sum; iuro per poenis mortis, verus futurus sim.

Ego vos irrideo. Nunc argumento manebo quod exstruxi.

Nunc Lilith in mundum descendit, in paradisum Eden ambulans. Illa forma viri erat, et veneficiis est usa sese ut lepida videretur esse oculo mortali. Quidem ut per mirabilem hortum ambulabat, animalia agitata sentibant et in oestrum fiebant; et futuere coepiunt. Lamia digitos traxit de medio suorum capillorum blandorum, coccineorum velut sangue et silvestribus velut herbis ferorum (etsi neutrum nondum in mundo novissimo erat), dum Adamum hominem accedebat. Salax risus in homine inculcavit ut is altus staret. Salutationes mutaverunt.

Ait Adam, "Eheu, vel, salve," quo Lamia respondit, "Salve, care."

"Quae es? Tibi non antehac obveni, et tu es similis parvo simio quondam meo adiutori. Esne fortasse utrum frater an alias cognatus?" rogavit Adam.

Lamia dixit, "Minime. Nomen Lilith est, et Ille me missit ut deinde tuus adiutor sim."

Adam dixit, "Ille qui?"

Lamia dixit, "Illum, scis. Quidam. Ille-Cuius-Nomen-Non-Locutendum-Est (sive loquar, fulmine occidar, nam ego mala sum.)"

Audiens male murmurem quod Lamia fecit, dixit Adam perplexus, "Ille-Cuius-Nomen-Malissimum-Est? Per Dei iucundum nomen, quid praedicas?"

Vox nominis Domini Dei fecit ut Lamia anhelaret. Celeriter imperium Satana invocavit quod in Adamo seminatum erat ut parvo tempore mentem caperet. Ait ea, "Dediscas illud. Missus sum ut novus adiutor fiam. Adiutorium cupis ut paradiso Eden provideas, non?"

Fascinato, Adam oculis caliginosis et stupefacto ricto innuit. In mente, futurum mirabilem tanto cum bello exspectabat; non curae sibi est unde qua illa venisse.

English:
Ye must think me a villain of a poor scribe, now that I write I wish to retract all that I have written and published, to abandon the suspense and hints at future action I have set up, and to have led you on a futile chase into a dead end. Atrocious writing, ye exclaim, and wherefore hast thou done as thou didst; but if it pleaseth you, know full well that I was under the influence of the Evil one, and had no choice but to write as he desired; for this is not fiction, but truth and history. I hereby renounce the fairytale that I have created and pledge myself to only the word of God. I am in earnest now; cross my heart and hope to die.

Just kidding. I will now continue with the plot I had set up.

Now Lilith descended into the world, walking into Paradise Eden. She was in the form of a man, and she cast magicks on herself to seem appealing to the mortal eye. Indeed, as she walked through the perfect garden, animals began to feel excited and rut; and they began to reproduce. Lilith ran her fingers through her striking hair, scarlet as fresh blood and wild as weeds (though neither yet existed this early in the world) as she approached Adam the man. Her lurid smile impressed upon the man, and he stood up. They exchanged greetings.

Adam said, "Whoa, I mean, hello," to which Lilith replied, "Hello, dear."

"Who are you? I have not met you before, and you look somewhat like Little Monkey my former helper. Are you perhaps his brother or cousin?" Adam said.

Lilith said, "By no means. My name is Lilith, and He has sent me to be your next helper."

Adam said, "He who?"

Lilith said, "He, you know. You-Know-Who. He... He Whose Name Must Not Be Mentioned (or I shall be struck down by lightning, for I am evil)."

Mishearing the whisper Lilith made, Adam said in bemusement, "He whose name is evil? By the jolly name of the Lord, what do you mean?"

The mentioning of the Lord God's name made Lilith gasp. She quickly invoked the power of Satan, which had been planted in Adam, temporarily to enchant his mind. She said, "Never you mind. I was sent here to become your new helper. You want a helper in tending to Paradise Eden, don't you?"

Having been bewitched, Adam nodded with hazy eyes and a dopy grin. In his head, he began to look forward to a fantastic future with such a good-looking partner; never mind where she came from.