Parva fabula, pars quarta

Latina:
Itaque Deus hominem dormiendem videbat, viditque eum se complecti. Sapientissimus sibi cogitabat, "Adam solus videtur esse. Non bonum nobis est. Conemur invenire ei adiutorium simile sui." Ita Dominus expectavit hoc adiutorium in paradiso Eden.

Primo parvo simio venit, nam simius similis homini sollersque erat. Aestimans, Deus eum spectavit et rogabat, "Requirimus adiutorem Adamo. Potesne ei dare omnia quibus eget?"

Simius respondit, "Ita! Possum ulla facere!" Sic Deus simium Adami adiutorem fecit.

Duobus diebus Adam venit Deo et questus est, "Mi Domine, cur istum contemptandum simium misi? Quandcumque dormivi, iste stercus in meo vultu facebat! Et si excitavi, stercus ad me iacebat! Non ferre possum!"

Suspirans, Adam dicere mansit, "Sive culus parvior est. Colei saepe contundebantur inter femoribus sine cupidite quandcumque fututi summus. Postea autem verpa semper lita merda est."

Haec auditis, Dominus iratus simium amisit et profectus est ut alium adiutorem expectaret.

English:
And so God was watching the sleeping man, and He saw that he was hugging himself. The Most Wise One began to think to Himself, "Adam looks to be lonely. That is not good to me. Let's try to find a suitable helper for him." So the Lord was looking for this helper in the Garden of Eden

At first he came to the small monkey, for the monkey was similar to the man and clever. Estimating, God looked at him and began to ask, "I require a helper for Adam. Can you give him everything that he needs?"

The monkey responded, "Yes! I can do anything!" so God made the monkey Adam's helper.

In two days, Adam came to God and lamented, "My Lord, why have you sent this despicable monkey? Whenever I slept, he made poop on my face! And when I awoke, he threw poop at me! I cannot bear it!"

[redacted]

These things having been heard, the Lord angrily let the money go and set out to find another helper.